Ennui
How does one defeat it? Here’s what yourdicitonary.com says on the matter:
en·nui (än′wē′, än wē′)
noun
weariness and dissatisfaction resulting from inactivity or lack of interest;
This perfectly describes my situation over the past, oh, 6 months or so, give or take? So yeah, weary describes it, as does a general sense of dissatisfaction and overall lack of that industrious feeling that, I suppose, I should be having. And sure, I’ve been sorta inactive, mentally, but more precisely, I’ve lost interest. And to be honest, I’d source it in my Masters program.
In fact, when I started this professional Masters degree program in Computer Science not only was I at a different school (DePaul U.), but I had that frenetic, pioneering impulse you experience when you confront a new subject in all your high-spirits. It’s sorta like when you were a kid and, even though you hated the impending start school at the end of a long summer, somehow shopping for school supplies was always a fun and fulfilling experience–at least for me it was. I mean if only for the fact that you got to be a gleeful and active consumerist, running down isles of choices from rulers to pencils, to notebooks and bags, erasers and pencil cases, coloring sets and oh my isn’t this a treat! I remember the trapper keepers of yore, and the lunchboxes and thermoses that carried my daily fuel (Wow, it’s been a while since I’ve had a generously mayonnaised arepa, compliments of my dear loving mother). But I digress.
Oh what I wouldn’t do for a return to those states of emboldened conviction and unchecked expectation. If I could then only find a way to extract that, replicate it, store it for later use, and re-inject it into my system during spells like these. But I guess that’s just it, there is a way to replicate that impetus to move forward and seize what is rightfully yours, and it’s more willful than I’m willing to concede at times. In fact, in the very definition of the term ennui is the answer to my problems. Because it’s that simple. If you’re weary or dissatisfied, bored and full of angst, change that face, and put on a fresh coat of paint. Take some interest in what you do, and don’t let yourself become inactive in life.
There, I did it. Ennui, with this post I smite thee, and turn to face life anew! Oh, CAPITAL!
Tags: ennui inspiration motivation dissatisfaction personal carpediem lifeTags: ennui inspiration motivation dissatisfaction personal carpediem life